What I do on Sunday

Sunday

It's a day when most people take time to appreciate relaxation, go to church, or celebrate the Sabbath. I am a Buddhist, and the Drepung Gomang Center for Engaging Compassion in Louisville, Kentucky has teachings on Sundays that usually start at about 10 o'clock in the morning. They also have a number of different workshops, meditations, teachings, and celebrations for the Tibetan Buddhist community.

Personally, I have a lot going on usually, so if I have the time, I will connect via Zoom, which they provide links for, or I take the time to do some self-care, meditation, and mantra at my home. Being Buddhist, I pray every day. A lot of my prayers consist of chanting, which is repetitive prayer over and over for a number of times. There are also prayers very similar to many Catholic prayers that I learned growing up as an Orthodox Catholic. They're not similar in the fact that they say the same things, but they are similar in the fact that they embrace lives and pray for the best for everyone. Today, I woke up and immediately started to pray. I prayed because I'm really grateful. The past week or two has been hectic, to say the least. I've been shuffled around, had to wait for long periods of time stuck in places that I'm not usually in, such as airports, and I'm also dealing with a lot of stuff in my family.

I'm not sure if anybody has ever been around somebody that has tooth or gum pain, but this week I experienced that with someone extremely close to me. Their fever got extremely high, and sometimes when people are sick, they're not great patients. Sometimes they don't know what to do, or they're scared, or they were raised in a generation that deems it incorrect to even admit that something is wrong with you. I find that ludicrous. However, the generation I'm speaking of is a very common age range for not only my parents but also the parents of my friends.

I prayed because I'm grateful, like I said, grateful that this person didn't get too sick and was able to come around the corner. I was able to be present for this person in the moment and not freak out, and I owe a lot of that to my faith and my ability to recede into my mind and understand that I have to accept what goes on and then I have no control.

I decided to sleep in. I needed it. It was the first time I was able to and not have to get up and check on somebody or make sure that everything was OK. Everything is going pretty well at my house. I made my father some oatmeal and decided to retreat to my sanctuary. I have an altar, and I lit the candles. I lit some incense that is traditionally Tibetan. Then I started to meditate. Once again, I turned on Insight Timer, and to my sheer enjoyment, one of my favorite teachers was on live. Their name is Sonic Yogi. I highly recommend looking them up and checking them out. They do amazing musical meditation work and help adjust nerves and regulate nervous system issues. Today we worked on the vagus nerve. It helped a lot. I got kind of emotional. Then I was prompted to do some yoga. Restorative yoga has always been a godsend for me. I will get into further what steps I do and what poses I do another time. That's not what this post is about.

This post is about gratitude on Sundays. I'm grateful actually every day. I'm grateful today just happens to be Sunday, and I'm super grateful. I'm grateful that I can walk. I know I talk a lot about that, but there was a period of time when I couldn't. I'm grateful I can do yoga and calm my mind. I get so worked up sometimes that I forget that I need to process and actually take care of myself, which brings me to my next point: self-care.

Self-care is a huge part of my spirituality. In order to really be able to be present for others, I have to be present for myself. A lot of people say that self-care sounds selfish, and that you can twist it very easily. I agree 100%. However, when I take some time to really pay attention to myself, it allows me the room to pay attention to others in my day-to-day life and be present. I think of it as I take the time to be present for myself, even if it's only for a couple of hours. Whether it's prayer, meditation, yoga, eating something that serves my body well, or even taking a long shower and listening to jazz music like I did this past Wednesday, whatever it is, make sure it's things that speak to your soul. Everything I do involves music. If I can't listen to it on a speaker, I've got it in my earphones. Today, I'm going to walk my dog, take a shower, put on a face mask, and give myself about 45 minutes to just really relax, be with myself, and not be distracted. Distraction comes in a number of forms. The worst, I believe, is the phone.

I had a conversation with a friend this week about how much it annoyed me when they got on the phone when I was talking to them. I made the point that they wouldn't just start having another conversation with someone in public if they were talking to me, so why would they do it on the phone? People are distractions, responsibilities are distractions, so I highly suggest that before you do any real self-care, make sure that your obligations, responsibilities, and phone are taken care of. I usually put my phone on silent or airplane mode and let people who are important to me know that I do that so they know why I'm avoiding everything.

I have to avoid everything sometimes. I have to retreat and take time for myself. Being an empath means I feel everything all the time. I take on other people's feelings. I do my best to appreciate and let them go, but it doesn't always work that way for me. I get drained very easily from high energy, and I'm still pretty young, so it's not been super easy to dissect the dynamics of energy work, but I'm getting there.

Being alone is okay.

Not all the time, obviously, but taking some real time to just get some space and allocate a bit of sanctuary to yourself is not selfish. Our society has us programmed to believe that if we're not working all the time, or making money, or creating some life that everybody else wants, that we're worthless. I don't believe that's true. It took me a long time to recognize that I was driving myself into the ground. I would treat others not the way they should be treated or the way I would want to be treated by any means. I was frustrated, unhappy, and depressed. Only when I really started to look at myself and force myself to spend time alone did I start to learn who I really was.

I do have to give some credit to my ex. We never even spoke on a regular basis, so I had to learn to be alone in a relationship. I think that made it easier for me to be alone when I became single. Now I can genuinely spend a good amount of time with myself and not think twice about it. Sometimes I probably could spend a little too much time alone. I need to be around people, so don't forget that sharing energy and communication paired with good company is never a bad thing as long as you're okay first.

One of my friends that I've been close to since I was about 16 started going to therapy recently. They told me that their therapist told them to "put themselves first." When I heard that, I thought, wow, that's different. In the past, I would've thought that was selfish because I'm so codependent. I feel like everybody deserves more than me. I haven't found myself a right to problem, even when I am not to blame. But when this trusted friend told me that and used it in conversation context with me, it blew my mind. I realized that I have to take space. I have to do what's right for me as long as I'm not hurting myself for others, and that it's okay.

Today, I will leave you with a prayer that I say every day. It warms my heart and spreads love and joy. I truly believe every time I say it. Sometimes I say it over and over in mantra, and I'm trying to learn it in Tibetan. It's part of the prayers that the Dalai Lama says every day, and I think he is one of the coolest people in the world. I look to him for guidance and refuge. His heart is always in the right place, and I strive to be more and more like him on a daily basis.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s Daily Prayer: Excerpt from Shantideva’s Way of the Bodhisattva

May all beings everywhere Plagued by sufferings of body and mind Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy By virtue of my merits. May no living creature suffer, Commit evil, or ever fall ill. May no one be afraid or belittled, With a mind weighed down by depression. May the blind see forms And the deaf hear sounds, May those whose bodies are worn with toil Be restored on finding repose. May the naked find clothing, The hungry find food; May the thirsty find water And delicious drinks. May the poor find wealth, Those weak with sorrow find joy; May the forlorn find hope, Constant happiness, and prosperity. May there be timely rains And bountiful harvests; May all medicines be effective And wholesome prayers bear fruit. May all who are sick and ill Quickly be freed from their ailments. Whatever diseases there are in the world, May they never occur again. May the frightened cease to be afraid And those bound be freed; May the powerless find power, And may people think of benefiting each other. For as long as space remains, For as long as sentient beings remain, Until then may I too remain To dispel the miseries of the world.”

That’s really all I have to say, I hope this Sunday is amazing and relaxing for you. As always, I love you for reading.

Be Well

Wonder