Freedom 21: in the style of George Michael’s Freedom 90. 7/4/21

What a year it’s been, since last July. I can tell you now I was not swimming, and I was barely walking. Today, not and this exact moment, I am swimming. I never thought that I would be so ecstatic to just be able to walk, and it happens that way when you take something for granted your whole life. Then one day it just doesn’t work the way it used to, it doesn’t even begin to work in the slightest.

A friend of mine was talking today about Freedom today, in Lou of the holiday. It made me think of the George Michael song freedom 90.

“All we have to do now

Is take these lies and make them true somehow

All we have to see

Is that I don't belong to you and you don't belong to me, “-GM

it’s such a great song. I remember seeing that video… with a Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, George Michael and some absolutely gorgeous male models of which I do not know their names. They were all seeming to be fussing about being beautiful, being seen and not being heard or appreciated for their minds and their thoughts. Seemingly it was a real struggle in this video very industrial wonderful imagery. Then hearing it, I was nine, and everyone talking about Michael “coming out”, it was like the to do thing to talk about in those days. I talk about in those days like I’m old, I’m not old I’m only gonna be 40 this year. That’s a whole Nother block let’s not even go there, back to George Michael.

I always found him extremely impressive, a truly beautiful human being. Now I respect him even more. The lyrics of that song really mean something different to me now. As I sit in my fathers living room, watching fireworks go off and I don’t know, seven different cities, I am reminded that I am united now in a way that I’ve never been in my life. I truly see myself as a real citizen, a honest Citizen, an out citizen of the United States America.

Not everyone knows, but when I was 35 years old I came out of the closet, not half way or I think so, we are talking I had to break it off with someone I genuinely thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with and I did it abruptly, my life was changed forever.

I’m not talking about the life changing kind of way that things happen to people in movies, I guess you could make a movie out of it, but that’s not at all the point that I’m attempting to make. For the vast majority of my life I lived under the mindset that I had to be a specific type of person in order to gain respect for my peers and my family not to mention People that I didn’t even know nor wanted to know.

Worrying about what other people think constantly can only allow oneself to measure up to perfection. I guess what I mean is, if one keeps comparing themselves to others then one will never be happy with themselves. For reasons I won’t go into right at this moment I did not accept myself. The freedom of accepting myself today especially in the climate that we live in, has made me understand the proclivity of the genuine acceptance of self. My true self. Asking with the release of the bondage of self.

This acceptance has aided and not just one facet of my life but many. Shortly after I shared my honest sexual orientation with my family and friends my life started to change.

Oh, I had to get a grip on reality. It came to my attention that I caused so much suffering, and the name of my own fear and arrogance. That I was important enough to hold onto some thing that now I see how many people have thought to make sacred today. This openness has aided in my recovery leaps and bounds. When I came off of my 7th relapse the madness was sick, dark and scary. My health was failing and yet I was experiencing a different type of healing. I truly believe now that is because I am able to be as honest with myself as I am with others, instead of the other way around. I accept myself today for who I am, regardless of all the nasty parts.

The freedom that lies and acceptance and surrender is mine blowing. I have come to I precipice, It stopped me in my tracks and helps me to stop grasping at straws and hold on to reality. This liberation has helped my mental hygiene and spiritual clarity build bridges back in my life I thought would never be able to repair and cross again.

Much like our beautiful country, Truly united is where we need to stand. I really believe that as long as we work together as humans nothing can stop us.The Presidents speech made me cry tonight. In the thoughts of that all men are created equal, I wanted to stand up and scream women too, however today I know that man is very inclusive as a word. I consider myself human before I am woman before I am anything. As I lay in bed tonight and I listen to the fireworks I think my higher power for allowing the water to subside in my head long enough for me to be able to except who I am today. I look forward to continuous freedom as I live my life in bravery, honesty and in the pursuit of happiness. OK I’m off to watch some Apple TV and I’m off work tomorrow so I’m having brunch with my wife and daughter. The Dalai Lama‘s birthday is Tuesday in America but I’m celebrating it tomorrow, he is who got me started on my path to liberation. If interested take a look at the books, “*The Book of Joy”*

-14th Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas *Abrams,

* “The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality”**- 14th Dalai Lama

*The Jewel Ornament of Liberation: The Wish-Fulfilling Gem of the Noble Teachings*: -GAMPOPA.

Celebrate.

celebrate freedom. celebrate liberation.

Celebrate now.