Blog 12:8

. OK so a brief disclaimer. I’ve had a headache for about five hours I am probably going to lay down and this bar probably needs a to be continued at the end. However I needed to get some things off my chest and wanted to continue to work on this blog even though my head started to hurt. I went in gung ho and have much more to say about why this blog is extremely reasonable, I just don’t have it in me right now.

>Please don’t crucify me for my grammar in this blog either. It could probably use some work, however headaches keep me from being able to edit my own work somet

Why is this a god blog to read, what will you get from it ( I hope) and get to know me a little bit better. I am a serious introvert over here. It still surprises some of my closest friends and loved ones. Only because they knew me when I had no fucking clue who zi was, I thought I did, really… However, This was not the case. Which is one of the Reasons this blog will be such an interesting one to read. I’d really attend to go into my experiences on a daily basis to educate myself on how to act or not act how to keep myself from outlandish reaction how to try to tame my mental lion and keep it at bay on a daily basis. I fight anxiety pretty much all day, I am married I have a 13-year-old which is probably one of the best learning experiences I’ve ever encountered. I still dream of owning an ice cream shop but only having it for like five minutes and selling it, I never really was one for the service industry even though I spent a really long time in that exact place. It kind of defined me for a really long time, it’s one of the saddest parts about being sober is that some of the knowledge I have doesn’t really mean anything to anybody that I hang out with now not that it ever did before. I guess I just says that I hung out with a lot of drunks. No offense, I love all of those people. I learned a lot from all the people that I drink with, quite a few of them could drink with no problem Whatsoever. Impunity is a funny thing, especially when you think you have it and you clearly do not have it in the slightest. At least didn’t with drinking.

Most everything in my life has come to me the way the universe wanted it to, I see that now when I go by my day-to-day life like I used to however today actually pay attention to what’s going on. It’s a real big difference when you attempt to be present in your life, I was never present before. I can tell you that this blog is going to be really good to read because I’m really honest. My kid tells me I’m really honest all the time, sometimes two honest. I wish more people were honest, I wish more people could have a fucking conversation about real life instead of some stupid meme. I mean Memes are great they’re funny but I can’t explain to you how many people I know that it consumes their life they’re more interested in some fantasy world than they are in living what’s going on. OK I better stop talking about that before I get on the soapbox I need a whole blog on its own I probably need a whole podcast to talk about that kind of stuff. Are used to be lazy dishonest hateful spiteful vengeful are used to think that the world out of me some thing. And then I woke up. That’s why this blog is interesting to read because today I’m talking about how I’m awake. And being awake is the most liberating thing I’ve ever experienced. I hope every day I become more and more awake and I hope every day that I can share some of my work with people around me. Hopefully this blog will system that. Here’s to be in real. To be continued…